A Relationship That Matters

The buzz of the alarm interrupted my sleep. I opened my eyes with a jolt and saw the ceiling staring at me. But how had the colour of my bedroom ceiling changed from peach to white overnight?   I looked around me to find walls of red bricks that reminded me of colonial architecture and had a feeling that I had time-travelled back into history. I felt as if I was in a totally different time and space and just when confusion and panic had started creeping into my mind, my eyes fell on the Martyr’s red and Cambridge blue prospectus on my corner table which said “St. Stephen’s College, New Delhi”. The confusion was replaced by a heart-warming joy as the realization of where I was finally dawned on me.  Rubbing my eyes and stretching my arms, I could feel the anticipation, excitement and nervousness, all playing in my mind at the same time. Then I looked at the bed beside me and saw that my roommate wasn’t there. Wondering where she had gone so early in the morning (I had set the alarm for 6:30 a.m.), I threw a surreptitious glance at my cell phone and saw it was 8:15. I had unconsciously put the alarm at snooze and drifted back to sleep refusing to wake up at its successive 20 - minute wake up bells, finally heeding to it 1 hour 45 minutes later than the set time.   I had just 15 minutes to get ready and head for breakfast!

I hurried out of bed, grabbed my brushing kit and rushed to the washroom. I turned on the tap and in the meantime started brushing my teeth. Seconds later with the toothbrush stuck in my mouth, my heart almost skipped a beat on seeing that there was no water in the tap! I rushed back to my room and saw there was some water left in my bottle. Quickly I rinsed my mouth using it. I had some ten more minutes to bathe and dress up. In a furious race against time, I flew with my bucket to the bathing area but there was no water in the taps there either. Just then I saw a senior passing by and asked her if there was any other place from where I could get water. She directed me to an emergency tap from where I eventually filled my bucket and dragged it all the way back to the washroom spilling water all along the way. In the next 4 minutes I took what was the quickest bath of my life and just when, dressed in my brand new kurti and jeans, I was ready to head for college, a pigeon shat on my new puma sneakers! I ran back to my room, quickly grabbed a tissue and wiped off my sneakers. Then I raced down the hostel staircase, almost crashing midway into a short- legged white dog. Recovering from the minor shock that little creature had given me, I traversed the distance between the hostel and the dining hall with blinding speed and I broke into the mess at exactly 8:28, just two minutes before the closing time. The mess incharge stood in front of me. For the brief second I looked at him, I could sense a hint of anger on his almost expressionless face. Quickly I registered my name in the Hostel Fresher’s list he gave to me and then took my place at the table. I grabbed two buttered toasts and poured some coffee in my glass finishing it off in a jiffy. After inhaling my breakfast, I headed for the fresher’s morning assembly. While my heart was still madly beating against my chest and the morning marathon had left me out of breath, the deep resounding voice of the Principal flooded the place drowning all the buzz in the hall with the words  “Welcome to St. Stephen’s College”. These words seemed to deafen my own heartbeat, overwhelming me.

Stephen’s made me believe in love at first sight because I fell in love with the college ever since I laid my eyes on it. In one of the morning assemblies, Mr. Deepak Mukarji told us “This old lady will give a lot to you. Years later, just remember to come back and give her a hug.” And while the pigeons still shit on clothes, the water still refuses to come from the regular taps compelling us to resort to the revered emergency tap (part of our college’s endeavour to help us deal with emergencies I guess  :P ) and one can bump into a crazy white dog in the hostel at odd hours, the love only seems to grow stronger with each passing day. Lady, you will sure get back the hug J

The Line That changed the Picture Of My Life

When I was in the sixth grade, my dad had got posted to Allahabad and I was admitted into the city's best school which happened to be a Convent and an all-girls' school. Coming from a co-ed Birla school in Kolkata, the experience of studying in a Convent was as alien to me as  the experience of dining in a five star restaurant is to a middle-class man. However, that is not exactly what I intend to talk about in today's blog. Let me save that for some other day. One of the things that made Convent stand out from my earlier school was the concept of the Value Education classes. Back in my school in kolkata we had no such thing. At that time I used to think of these Value Education classes as the pseudo free- periods when I could sit at the not-so-visible corner of the room and continue with my Nancy Drew, Enid Blyton or Hardy Boys series.
In one such class as I was all set to pursue my plans having grabbed the last bench with Enid Blyton's "Island Of Adventure" gripped in my hand; the Sister came to announce that we would not be reading our prescribed book that day. It was going to be a special class as Mother Superior, who had come back from her trip abroad, was going to address the class in a few minutes. We all were warned to behave in a disciplined manner as Mother did not tolerate any sort of disobedience. Though I was at the climax of the novel and my hands were itching to turn the page ,  I dared not read the book in front of Mother. So very unwillingly and hesitantly i put the novel back in my bag. Seconds later Mother entered the room. Though she was of average height there was something in her personality which made her look "tall". If you have been anywhere near a typical Convent school, you would know that I am not exaggerating when I say that her presence stimulated such deep silence in the room that I suddenly became aware of the sound of my own breath. As she moved to the blackboard we could hear her footsteps cutting through the silence in the room. On approaching the board, Mother drew a straight horizontal line on the blackboard and then moved back. Looking at our puzzled faces, she gently smiled and asked all of us to think of a way to shorten the line without changing the given line.
We all brainstormed and  thought hard but none of us could come up with a solution. All we could think of was to rub off the chalked line from either end and shorten it but to shorten it without touching it! How could it be possible?
Time was ticking by and none of us had figured out our way through the problem. The silence was becoming more and more profound and just when I had started feeling as if it would last forever, Mother decided to come to our rescue. She told us that every problem has a solution and the solution turns out to be really simple if we choose to change our perception. Then turning to the blackboard she drew another straight line a little above the previously drawn line but this time a longer one. Then turning to us she said " Thus, the first line is shortened without my touching it".
Mother then went on to explain why she had chosen to take up that exercise. She said that, in school, we might encounter some classmates who  perform better than us. In such a situation some of us may get tempted to create obstacles for those people by choosing not to share our notes or clear their doubts, when they need our help, fearing that they may outrun us. In life at large also, whichever field we choose to venture into, we may encounter people around us who are more adept at their work and display greater excellence. Some of us might choose to see these people as a threat. Engulfed by jealousy, we might try to prevent such people from giving their best and find great satisfaction in their failure. However, it is important to realize that taking advantage of a person's weakness and limiting their capacity ( analogous to rubbing off the chalked line from either end to shorten it) will NOT make us better. Thus it will never bring us success. Rather we should try to work harder, expand our realm of possibilities and try to push ourselves forward rather than pulling others backward. This will help us to bring out the best in us while appreciating and respecting the talents of others. This, Mother said, will make us the longer line and help us to shine out.

The one line that Mother drew that day left an indelible mark in my mind. Some seven years have passed by and in those seven years i  traversed through 4 more schools facing different situations and different people finally landing into one of the best colleges in the country but that one line  has stayed with me ever since determining the way I approach life at large. Who had thought one value education class would make so much difference after all? Well, seven years back sitting on the last bench of the class dying to read her Enid Blyton novel when the class had started, the little girl in me definitely hadn't.... 

A Rendezvous With Yourself

Have you ever dropped the idea of buying a movie ticket because none of your friends was willing to accompany you? or
Have you ever hesitated to enter a restaurant because there was nobody to join you at the table?
Have your worst weekends been the ones when you had neither friends, parents or your partner to share it with ?
Well if that's the case then this column is for you. We all have a desire to be wanted, to be loved and to belong to a coveted group and that's pretty natural. But have you ever wondered why do we always want to cling to other people's company? Why are we so uncomfortable being just with ourselves?
The answer is that in  the years we spend understanding our parents, our friends, our mate and our colleagues; we somewhere skip to understand ourselves. We get so involved in what other people think about us that we somehow never reflect on what we think about ourselves. We get so busy making compromises for our loved ones that we somehow forget to love the person we are and the moments, hours and years we spend trying to fit in with others, we forget to enjoy our very own company !
My dad once told me that there is a lot of difference between being 'alone' and being 'lonely' . Sitting in your room with no one by your side, you may be 'alone'  but if you have an amazing equation with yourself then that time could turn into one of the most treasured moments of your life. It could simply give you the opportunity to read up a beautiful book or could help you to introspect and evolve as a person or  delve in your passions and come up with a unique path-breaking idea  . Thus Those few moments of solitude could give birth to a poet, a philosopher, an entrepreneur or a great humanitarian in you!
Sit back one of these days, cancel all your ventures for the day and try being all by yourself. Reflect on all the amazing stuff you have done, even if it is as small an act as planting a sapling, loving your pet or simply bringing a smile on someone's face. Feel good about yourself. Accept yourself with all your flaws, the little peculiarities, the embarrassments, the things you do not do so well and the wonderful qualities too and try falling in love with the one person who you really are without struggling to become the person the world wants you to be. It's important to remember that it is not selfish to love ourselves. Even to love others truly we first need to love ourselves enough.
If you fall in love with that one person who is going to be with you throughout your stay on this planet, that is, YOURSELF, imagine what a beautiful journey life will become!
Then every moment will be perfect and the pure joy of your very existence will add the twinkle to your eyes, the colour to your cheeks and the warmth to your presence which will draw the best into your life- the job, the partner , the friends and most importantly  the best in you .......  
So love the skin you are in ( well, this is not an Olay add :p ) .....